Part 018


“So what the hell’s your name?” Dutch asked the woman Jenny pulled out of the bar.

The rescued lady looked shocked.

“Hey, would you rather we just say, ‘Hey you,’ or ‘You f’n’ little-”

“Hey, none of that,” said Georgie.  “I’m sure you just need a minute to tell us, don’t you darlin’?”

“Darling?” she replied.

“Well, until we know your name, I’m thinking-”

“It’s Tia.”

Georgie looked at Tia.  “Well, not what I expected, but hey.”

“So who was Kate?” Jenny asked.  “Friend, sister, what?”

“Oh, she was… the person I was staying with.  She was putting me up while I’m here.”

“You’re visiting?” asked Tomo.


“I mean, here? Who comes to Buffalo to visit?”

“Hey, what’s wrong with coming to Buffalo?” Charlie asked.  “Always nice when folks drop in on us.”

“Was it a social call?” Jenny asked.  “It wasn’t business, was it?”

Tia sighed.  “Kind of.  I mean, well, you know.”

“No, tell me.”

“I was just trying to write about the scene here.”

“Write for who?” Jenny asked.  “One of those stupid news sites that want to laugh at the border towns up north?”

“No, I’m an independent, self-published blog.  I was hoping to get some self-gen content and try and get picked up by the bigger outlets.”

“So where’d you come from?  Chicago or Kansas City?”

Tia didn’t answer.


Tia sighed and said, “…Toronto…”

The car screeched to a halt in the middle of the street.

“What- the- fu-” said Dutch.

“You-” stammered Charlie, “you’re a, a Canu-”

“Hey!” said Jenny.  “None of that!”

“But you called those sailors-”

“I didn’t keep those sailors from being blown away by a moron with a shotgun!  And that was business!  I was working them to give up their cargo!”

“Wait,” said Tia, “you’re pirates?”

Jenny slapped her palm against her forehead.

“Yeah,” said Georgie, “so, you into pirates?”

“I mean- I mean, that’s what I was looking for, a story about pirates.”

“Oh fu-” said Tomo.

“Hey, hey, I’m not like looking to use names.  I just want an angle, something I can write about.  You know, like Jay Badhur did years ago, when he looked at the Somali pirates.”

“Jay who?” asked Tomo.

“So let me get this straight,” said Jenny.  “You crossed the border, going into a country that tried to invade you, to get a story for your online site about people that attack Canadians, by reaching out to the people doing the damage?”

Tia just looked at her.

“Of all the STUPID things I’ve ever seen!  What kind of f’n’ IDIOT are you for doing this?”

There was a long silence as the car sat there, blocking the street and still as the night after the outburst.

“So this means, what, eh?” asked Tia.  “This is where you kill me, I guess?”

“What? No,” said Jenny.  “What are we, damned animals?”

“That’s what I’m here to find out.”

“Oh for the love of-  Dutch, get us the hell out of here…”

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All content Copyright © 2011 James Ryan


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